God of the bathroom floor

I shared a post on Facebook a couple weeks ago that struck a cord to my heart. To summarize, the post said “God isn’t just the God of prayer meetings, mission trips, Sunday school, well-paying jobs…etc.” All the good and beautiful things that life has to offer. Yes He is there and He is in that, but He is much more than that. More big and vast than we can comprehend. Yes He is in that, but He’s also in the hard, ugly, desperate and lonely times. “He’s also and especially the God of Oncology visits, broken hearts, sleepless nights, bathroom floors…etc” Oh man, is He ever a God of the bathroom floor. 

I’m going to get vulnerable, real and raw… but I think God wants me to do that with you.

I can think of a few times in my life where I have just utterly cried out to God. Facedown, weeping, literally crying out to God asking for help, on the floor. One of those times was when I lost my grandpa; the most recent time was a couple weeks ago.  

This past year has been incredible, to say the least. God has given me an abundance of blessings, and continues to bless me beyond measure. Even in the hard moments that have happened this year, God was there and I can look back now and see what He was doing; preparing me for what He has in store for me for the future. Like I’ve mentioned in previous blogs, God has been rewiring my brain and showing me the depths of His love for me. He has been showing me how to think and believe in His truth, and not lies that have been in my head before. He’s done this through His love, the stillness, and people. To give you an example of a lie that has been in my head for years and years is “you’re not enough” That is just one of many that have fluttered through my mind over the years, and when you hear something in your head enough, you sadly start to believe it. But God, being the kind and loving Father that He is, has truly fought for me to get rid of those lies and hear what He thinks about me instead. He says ” You are enough Krista. You are more than enough.” 

He has also been using people to speak His truth, goodness and love into my head and heart…and it’s made all the difference. I know it will take time, it’s not going to change overnight. But He is a God who doesn’t give up on His children, and He is a God who pursues the best for us. 

Something I have never really thought about, I guess is the best way to put it, are spiritual attacks. Where we are in Albania, the church we serve with, is located around an area where there is a heaviness. The church is a light to the darkness, and my team has been feeling that heaviness pretty intensely. I personally, have never experienced anything like this before, and at different moments it’s very overwhelming. Overwhelming to a point where my head would feel really cloudy, hurt and all I wanted to do was cry. I kept hearing the lies in my head, but I couldn’t hear His truth. I would talk to Him, no answer. I would cry to Him, nothing. I didn’t understand, and I was so confused. One day, a couple weeks ago, I was sitting alone and listening to a podcast. I was absolutely wrecked, weeping and felt alone. The podcast I was listening to was talking about fighting the lies in your head, and how the enemy constantly is attacking you, but especially when you are getting closer to God’s plan for your life. I knew that the enemy attacks your vulnerable areas, and so it made sense to me that I was believing the lies. But why am I feeling it so intensely now? Is it because I’m serving and loving God in this area of Albania? Is it because I am closer to His plan for my life? I honestly don’t know, but I know that God is fighting for me, in ways I can’t see. 

As I sat there crying, God said “Write the lies down and tell someone about them. Don’t keep them hidden. Ask for prayer.” So I wrote them down, found a couple friends and shared it with them, and got prayers. The lies felt silly when I saw them written down, but again, the longer you let the lies live in your head the more you believe them. So then God had me write down the truth, along with scripture to back it up. That same exact day, another girl on my team and I both realized that the heaviness we have been feeling is a spiritual attack. Again, I don’t know the reasons why it’s happening, but I know that God has been using what the enemy meant for evil to turn it for good. To not only bring unity to our team, but also continue pointing me back to the truth of His word and who He says I am. 

Our team every morning prays. We pray for many different things. We write down different prayers requests and truly give our heart to those prayers. We’ve prayed for family members, our ministry, the refugees, the children that we’ve been pouring into..etc. One thing we hadn’t been praying for, was us. We weren’t praying for our team to go against the heaviness, it didn’t occur to us. But once we started to pray against it, for the heaviness to go away, we all felt different. Lighter and better. We had a shift as a team and we are more unified than before. Ever since that day, a couple weeks ago, the heaviness is pretty much gone, and the lies have been gone. Again, it won’t change over night, but God is a God of the bathroom floor. He will sit with you through the times where you think you never will get through it, and He will fight for you the whole time. 

With only a few more days left in Albania, I ask that you pray for the church and our ministry hosts here in Tirana and that they would continue to be a light in the darkness. Prayer is powerful, and God is still working even if we can’t see it.

My team heads to Africa two weeks from today, and we are very excited! We will be going to Heidelberg, South Africa and then Mukhotlong, Lesotho to finish out the race! Prayers for continued unity with my team, for safety as we travel and for all the emotions that I’m feeling ha! Life is really amazing, and God has really great things in store for after the race that I can’t wait to share with you all! 

Love you all!